rumores: (pic#14210539)
ššŠšš•šš•šš’ššœšš˜šš— ā˜‚ #šŸ˜šŸ˜.šŸ˜šŸ› ([personal profile] rumores) wrote in [community profile] imaginatus2020-08-29 09:10 am

hollywood au; post apocalypse

Traveling across the country a few of days after almost bleeding out probably isn’t been the best idea, considering how wiped out it leaves her afterwards, but Allison couldn’t stay in the Academy any longer. The world had been saved, they had done their part, and after making sure that Vanya would be okay, she just wanted to see her daughter.

Actually seeing her isn’t easy, though. Explaining to a six year old why her mother can’t respond to her questions, why there is a bandage on her neck, why Mommy and Uncle Klaus need to rest after their trip isn’t easy. Patrick does his best to handle the situation, explaining to her that Mommy and Uncle Klaus had been busy saving the world, and while Claire is as understanding as a little kid can be, she also can’t be completely appeased so easily. Allison tries to keep up with her, cuddling with her on the couch and flipping through books as Claire makes up stories for her and Klaus, but after she has gone to bed the grief of it all finally catches up to her. What’s going to happen if this is it? If she can’t speak to her daughter, or sing her songs while she’s trying to put her to bed? She doesn’t blame Vanya for what happened - Allison knows she had pushed her, and that in so many ways she deserves this for what she had done to her as children, but it doesn’t take away the crushing feeling that squeezes her heart into pieces now that reality is smacking her in the face.

By the time Patrick is done with Claire’s bedtime routine, Allison is laying in bed, eyes closed but very much awake. Her body feels wrung out, shaky and foreign, and she’s still in pain even if she’s been refusing pain medication but as hard as she tries, she can’t fall asleep.

Her eyes open, though, when the bed shifts with Patrick’s weight and he wraps his arm around her. She wants to ask him if Claire fought bedtime again; she wants to ask what she missed since leaving for the funeral; she wants to ask how he’s doing after the shock of finding out that both Allison and Klaus has gone through hell in just a week. It kills her that she can’t say a single one, and instead all that she’s thinking is, you were right. We shouldn’t have gone. Ultimately she knows she can’t regret it; Vanya and the world are both still standing and who knows if the same could have been said if they hadn’t left. But now her past life feels like it’s splintering her real life, and she doesn’t know what to do with it.

Patrick gently tugs her towards him, prompting her to roll onto her side to face him, but Allison still can’t quite meet his eyes. Without realizing it, she has been avoiding him this way since they arrived, not wanting to see whatever reaction could be in his eyes because it’s not like she can really say anything about it, anyway. She doesn’t want to see disappointment or anger, because Allison has enough of both running through her.

Neither one is coming from him, though; just concern for both her and Klaus, and when Patrick kisses her forehead, the tears that have been making her eyes sting the last few hours finally roll down her cheeks.

ā€œIt’s okay,ā€ he whispers, bringing his hand up to cup her face, gently brushing the tears away. ā€œWe’ll figure it out. We’ll find the best doctors, and we’ll see what they can do. It’ll be okay. Claire and I are so proud of you both, you know. Whatever happened, whatever you did - we love you. So, so much and we are just so glad you’re both home.ā€

She breathes out a silent sob, but even if there’s no sound it still feels as if it rocks her whole body. He pulls her close then, letting her cry until she goes still against him and the grip she has on his shirt loosens, and Allison finally looks up at him then. She still half expects something that’ll make her feel worse about all this, but Patrick just looks at her in a way that makes the knot in her stomach loosen up. Maybe things really will be okay, she finally lets herself think.

ā€œAre you in any pain? The painkā€”ā€œ

Allison rests a finger on his lips, shaking her head slightly before she nuzzles close to him. She knows he has a million questions, and her old life has finally caught up with her new one. But, despite it all and the fear she has about how she’ll navigate parenting without being able to speak, she lets him hold her as she finally drifts off to sleep.