[ What Tony says is so sweet that it's heart-wrenching, and at the sound of Tony's own choked apology, all Steve can do is nod into his shoulder. His eyes are closed tight, like somehow, that could stop the flow of tears that seem endless now.
At some point, he sucks in a breath, thinking that maybe he's recovered enough to talk, but he's so utterly wrong that he just buries himself into Tony again.
In the end, Steve does finally pull back, and uses the back of his hand to wipe away the wetness from his cheeks, and using his thumbs to brush at the tears on Tony's. ]
I'm so happy you're alive Tony. [ He admits, and there's pain there. ] That's what makes this so hard. I don't—... [ He wipes his face again as his eyebrows seem to wince before he says: ] I don't know how to grieve for Peter — [ Steve starts shaking his head. ] —and be so... grateful for you at the same time.
[ It's not that Steve has to pick between one or the other. He's feeling both simultaneously, and it's tearing him up inside.
And then, comes perhaps the cruelest question a parent can ask of themselves. It's one that has been floating around in Steve's mind ever since he saw the destroyed gauntlet. ] Do you ever wish, secretly, that it would've been one of us, instead of him? [ Because he does. It's so obvious that Steve wished that he could make a trade. That he could snap his own fingers and take Peter's place. ]
apparently i am awful
At some point, he sucks in a breath, thinking that maybe he's recovered enough to talk, but he's so utterly wrong that he just buries himself into Tony again.
In the end, Steve does finally pull back, and uses the back of his hand to wipe away the wetness from his cheeks, and using his thumbs to brush at the tears on Tony's. ]
I'm so happy you're alive Tony. [ He admits, and there's pain there. ] That's what makes this so hard. I don't—... [ He wipes his face again as his eyebrows seem to wince before he says: ] I don't know how to grieve for Peter — [ Steve starts shaking his head. ] —and be so... grateful for you at the same time.
[ It's not that Steve has to pick between one or the other. He's feeling both simultaneously, and it's tearing him up inside.
And then, comes perhaps the cruelest question a parent can ask of themselves. It's one that has been floating around in Steve's mind ever since he saw the destroyed gauntlet. ] Do you ever wish, secretly, that it would've been one of us, instead of him? [ Because he does. It's so obvious that Steve wished that he could make a trade. That he could snap his own fingers and take Peter's place. ]