endgame open post

[dropsofjupiter]

starters | picture prompts | quote prompts | texting | au fix its | anything

stark
aequitatis
pottspepper
starklegacy for au time hopping shenanigans because of course she would. and of course i would.

Comments

I haven't written in a while. Be gentle. 🤭

[noble_sentiments]

[ Steve refuses to believe that Tony and Peter are gone — that his family is gone — not until he sees proof. God. He can't. Not until he's had a chance to apologize.

Which is why, when Carol says she'll look for them, Steve just nods. Of course she would, because of course there's someone to look for.

But it isn't until he first lays eyes on Tony, however, that all the guilt and regret in Steve's chest is momentarily washed away. Relief is followed by gratitude, followed by love, until— ]

I lost the boy.

[ Hearing it from Tony's lips makes Steve feel like someone's grabbed hold of his windpipe and started squeezing. His eyebrows scrunch and they quiver once as Steve's see's the thin coat of tears in Tony's eyes. ]

I couldn't stop him.

[ It's not your fault, Tony. ] I couldn't either.

[ Only a second passes before Steve pulls him in for a hug, his hands swiftly supporting Tony's back to secure them together just like he used to. But instead of feeling the familiar shape of Tony's body, he's shocked by how small Tony feels in his arms. It makes Steve pull him in tighter.

For a moment, Steve just wants to cry. There's too much bottled up inside him and it's all threatening to come pouring out. But for just a while longer, he tells himself, he needs to keep it together. ]

C'mon. [ He whispers, against Tony's temple. ] Let's get you inside.

omg it’s perfect! Let me know if you want me to change anything ❤️

[stark]

[ For 22 days, Tony has been agonizing about what happened on Titan. When the infection threatened to do him in, it was almost a welcome distraction because it kept the memories at bay. At first, anyway; when the fever began, he started hallucinating Peter. Steve. He kept losing them, over and over. He’d see Steve, blaming him for their son’s death. How could you take him with you? He was your responsibility. How could you? Nebula never mentioned his cries, or the way he’d wake up screaming; she just hold him down until the worst of it passed and Tony calmed enough to sleep again.

Now the worst of the infection has passed, but the pain hasn’t. The physical one is nothing compared to the anguish he feels - the failure, the guilt - and while being rescued should fill him with relief, he finds himself almost resisting to it. No, he doesn’t deserve to live. He deserves to stay there, in space, and die where his son died. Not on earth. Earth holds nothing for him anymore.

He finds himself being wrong yet again, though, when the doors open and he sees Steve running to him. Nebula glances over at him, as if silently asking him if he’s okay, especially at the way she has to tighten her hold on him since his knees feel like they buckle at the sight of the man he has missed for years now, but Tony just nods faintly back. It’s not okay - he is not okay, but he’d be lying if he’s not relieved to see him. He’s alive, he thinks as he prays to a god he doesn’t even believe in that this isn’t another hallucination. That Steve is really okay, and here.

The guilt that follows is crushing, though, and Tony almost stumbles again as he admits his defeat. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, he wants to say, but when he opens his mouth again he can’t speak, but thankfully Steve takes him into his arms instead. He doesn’t deserve this, he thinks as he tries to hug him back, his now frail frame getting lost in Steve’s embrace, and for a moment he feels his eyes fill with tears as the guilt is mixed with relief. He’s here. He hadn’t been dusted, too.

With Steve’s help, they make it back to the compound, the rest of what he assumes remains of the team following close by. Bruce ushers them to the medical bay the moment they cross the doors, talking about fluids and IV lines, and while Tony tries to resist at first - he doesn’t want to lay down, he doesn’t want to be even more useless than he already feels - but one glance at Steve and those damn blue eyes of his, and Tony reluctantly agrees. They help him take off the jacket he’s wearing, and without even glancing at them he can feel the way Bruce glances at Steve when they see how awful he truly looks. After all, almost dying of a stab wound, an infection from said stab wound, and not having food or water for days has taken its toll on him. ]

...if it helps, I actually looked worse a few days ago. [ Felt it, at least.

He shivers slightly as the IV line is injected and the fluids start running through his veins. ]

How bad has it been here?

tony 😭

[noble_sentiments]

[ When Steve glances from Tony's shrunken muscles to Bruce, there's only one thing he wants to know: is Tony going to okay?. Bruce nods, even without Steve saying anything, but he adds a caveat, half-whispering, half-mouthing it to Steve just so he knows: It's going to take time.

But the burns of battle are still fresh. Their wounds are still wide open. He knows already that Tony isn't going to want to spend time in recovery and Steve isn't sure he'd blame him.

Peter. The family they'd built, here, in this very compound. 50% of all creatures on Earth. All gone. Neither of them are going to accept that there's nothing left to do.

Tony speaks though and Steve can't help but immediately look back down. ]

I have a hard time imagining that. [ He says, before slipping one of Tony's hands into his own, before Bruce pushes the IV in. Steve gives it a squeeze, part distraction, part re-assurance. When he hears that question, Steve glances at the others before he answers, but he knows he isn't going to try and hide anything. ]

50 percent of all living creatures. Gone. [ He lets the confirmation of that sink in before he continues. ] There were accidents everywhere, but they stopped after two or three days. Governments across the world are trying to rebuild.

[ In his peripheral version, Steve catches Bruce signaling. When he looks up, Bruce says this loud enough for everyone to hear: Hey, Steve, I know we just got him back, but we gotta let him rest. He nods. It's probably Bruce's way of saying something in that IV will knock Tony out soon. ]

I'll be right here, you hear me? [ He pulls a chair up next to the bed, never letting go of Tony's hand. ] As soon as you wake up.

[oldfashionedhero]

[ He goes down hard, another punch by the Titan that sends him into the dirt and knocks him out. He wakes with his head ringing despite the fact that the deafening battle around him is nothing by a dull roar around him. He pulls himself to his feet, searching for the others on the battlefield and catching Tony's eye. He's looking away from him, across the field at Strange, who raises a single finger.

Strange kept me alive for a reason. Tony had said a few days after he'd returned nearly starved and half the man he'd used to be. Things had been tense after Tony had spit in his face. After he'd thrown their failures at Steve's feet and thrust his heart into his hands. But that didn't mean that Steve hadn't tried to make amends. But by that time it had been too late. Thanos was dead and there hadn't been a way to bring anyone back. He'd said it was the only way. He'd looked into Tony's haunted eyes and then he'd looked away. As far as he could tell there hadn't been a reason for any of this.

He sees Tony pull himself up and he knows what he's going to do before he even begins to start moving towards Thanos. Steve's heart leaps into his throat as he forces his feet to move. Tony! his mind screams, but he can't get out his name before Tony's grabbed onto the glove. Thanos sends him flying and raises his hand. Steve moves past him, towards the armor, towards Tony. ]

Don't!

[ But it's too late, Tony has the stones in his gauntlet and he holds it up, his voice breathless and sure. Steve slams into him as he snaps his fingers and the world explodes in a white light of pain. His fingers feel as if they fuse to the glove, curling around Tony's as he's thrown back into the ground again and held there as white hot pain sears through them. He can smell the scent of burning skin, hear the shuddering echo of sudden stillness as Thanos' army dissipates around them, even as he can't move or breathe or speak.

After what feels like an eternity he force lessens and he struggles against it as he turns towards Tony beside him, reaching with his free hand for his face.]

Tony?

[ It's rasped out, barely a breath as he fights against the pain burning his lungs and lighting his nerves on fire.]

[stark]

[ Tony doesn’t notice Steve until it’s too late. Until he’s pretty much crashing against him as he snaps his fingers, and their bodies seem fuse together for a moment as the blast overtakes them both. Whatever protest he could have had is quickly forgotten, not because he never wanted anyone else to get harmed with this, but because the pain makes it hard to even breathe, let alone think.

It’s done. It’s over. It’s—

It’s...Steve, speaking to him. Tony’s ears feel like they’re ringing at first, but he hears his voice. Feels his hand on his face, and Tony shakily reaches up to wrap his hand around Steve’s wrist. As if somehow, by doing so, he can make sure Steve is still alive. That he hadn’t killed him with the blast, too. ]

You didn’t...

[ You didn’t need to do that, he wants to tell him. You shouldn’t have done it. Why?? He wants to yell at him for it, but his grip tightens unconsciously as a wave of pain takes over him in a sort of tremor that makes his entire body feel like it’s shaking. ]

You can’t die on me, alright?

[ It comes out almost in a groan, but he holds onto him a little tighter still. As if by doing so he’ll make him stay here. With him. ]

Because I can't stop BARFing.

[notasoldier]

[ He always looks happy to see her, whether it's been a few days or a few months. His eyes light up and that smile crosses his face that he only had for her.

Who are you? He asks jokingly more often than not because after a certain point she grows so quickly and so fast. Morgan? My Morgan?

Sometimes they're in the lake house. Sometimes they're sitting by the lake. Sometimes they're in his garage and he talks to her as he works.

He's always there for her if she needs to talk. On stand by if she needs him. ]

❤️

[starklegacy]

[ Morgan had found out about BARF by pure accident; she had caught her mother using it one night when she thought Morgan was fast asleep. After that, Morgan had been insistent on using it to see her daddy. Pepper sometimes argued against it, and Morgan would pretend to drop the discussion, but she’d slip out in the middle of the night and find the tech from whatever new hiding spot Pepper would try until she deemed her daughter ‘old enough’ to use it regularly.

To Morgan, though, it was her only chance to see him so of course she’d go to whatever length she’d have to go to do it. Her father had died saving the entire universe, she knows that and understands it, but at the same time at her core she’s still the four year old that just wants her daddy to come home so they could sneak juicepops from the freezer while mommy was asleep.

As she gets older, the discussions change from tea parties, to soccer practice, to inventions of her own, to college acceptance letters. He’s always there, talking with her, smiling at her, and everything is right with the world even if she can’t reach over to take his hand and take him with her back out in the world.

Tonight, when she uses BARF, it’s while she’s using her father’s garage while she works. On the table there are designs, models of a new armor. The helmet is unquestionably familiar, and she doesn’t know if he’ll catch it, but working on it had made her nostalgic, so...she’d like to see him, even if it’s for a brief moment.

As he appears in the room, she grins like she always does. And, as she also tends to do, she has to remind herself that she can’t run up to him even if he looks so damn real. ]

Hi, Daddy.

[yeahspiderman]

That couldn't be the end of it. It just couldn't. Mr. Stark is the closest thing to a dad that Peter had had since Uncle Ben died and he was not going through it again. He wouldn't, not now. Not when they'd just won.

"Move, white boy," he heard, but he didn't really process it or the source of it because he was too busy processing the fact that Dr. Strange just did the thing with the hands and the gold and the magic and then someone grabbed his arm — maybe Happy? — and he was being pulled through it with a "whoa!" slipping through his lips.

He'd looked around and caught sight of Mr. Stark, who had looked really bad, but he was laid out on a slab and there was so much tech around here that everywhere he looked, it looked like a damn sci-fi movie.

That had been fourteen hours ago.

They've been taking turns, an hour at a time, rotating to sit with him. When his eyes open, it startles Peter, partially because they snap open, looking wild, and partially because he's still so pale that it's actually a little scary. "Mr. Stark?" he breathes, his own eyes wide with shock.

[stark]

Tony had known that using the stones would be, in a way, a ‘one way trip.’ Bruce had said it himself - no one could survive the effects of the stones other than the Hulk. Still, it hadn’t stopped him from trying because it had been their shot. One in fourteen million, as Strange had said. Five years ago Tony had known that he had saved him for a reason, and while at first he hadn’t understood it, it had all clicked when he saw the gauntlet and Thanos trying to reach for it.

It had been on him. He had to do it.

What comes after is all a blur; a painful blur that leaves him unable to even speak. His whole body feels like it’s burning, weighed down as if the suit weighs a few tons, but it all fades away as he finally loses consciousness.

The last thing he expects after that is to actually wake up. There are sounds, and voices that filter through, but it all feels like it’s too distant to be real. It’s muffled. He tries to make sense of it, but before he can figure it out he usually finds himself losing the battle with lucidity all over again.

Suddenly it all changes, though. It feels like another burst of white light floods him as he opens his eyes, and for a moment it’s hard to figure out if he’s still out on the field. If he still has the gauntlet in his hand. His right side still feels like it’s burning, and—

Where is he? What is this? Did he die? Is this—

“Mr. Stark?”

Peter’s voice is like an anchor, grounding him before his thoughts can get further away from him, and he turns slightly in his direction. It’s not much, everything hurts, but it’s something. He’s moving. He’s breathing, even if he can hardly believe it.

“Pete?” His voice sounds dry, rough from sleep and everything that has been happening since the snap. “Wh—... Where am I?”

[dancestraction]

[ The struggle getting back to the Milano had been more than a little rough. Quill put the brunt of his focus on Stark, only stopping when he had to from taking on most of his weight, and sitting him down when they absolutely needed to. It was quiet getting back, interspersed with Peter offering small encouragements. Finally, a relieved: there she is.

Funny how it went, right? This guy showed up with all this flash and pomp and he didn't want jack to do with him. There was the fight, and then---he can't think about the fact that they lost. If he thinks about that, he'll think about Mantis, and Drax. Gamora. He'll wonder about Rocket and Groot. He can't do that. So, he does what he is able to do.

He gets Stark onto the ship, and to their little medbay that isn't even equipped for the shit they've been through, but it's something. Quill is banged up, but he didn't get stabbed by a big, purple, a-hole raisin. Lucky for them, he knows a little bit thanks to being raised by Yondu and the Ravagers. Maybe it's enough to get them some real help.

He sets him down on the rickety bunk they have down there as gently as he's able. ]

Okay, I'm gonna get you something for the pain first, and we'll get a better look, yeah?

[ Quill sets his jaw, lips pressed together thinly, and heads over to their---the gear. God, does this mean they're gone forever? What are they supposed to---Get it together, Quill. Gettin' all soft over here and for what? Can't do anything for them. Can do something for this guy, though.

He's got to. The idea of trying to do this on his own makes his stomach do flips, never mind the tight feeling in his chest. He grabs the injector and goes back to him. ]

Here we go. This is gonna sting a little.

[stark]

[ The walk to the ship, despite all the stopping and going, feels like a blur for Tony. Maybe it’s shock. Maybe it’s the effects of the blade piercing through him. Maybe the adrenaline has already worn off. Whatever it is, it makes him lack focus. Sometimes it doesn’t dawn on him that Quill has said something until some time has passed by, but he can’t help it. It’s as if just taking one step after another is hard enough to do; if he lets himself think or do much beyond that, his brain is just not ready to process it. Not yet. Not when he just wants to go back, try to get Thanos back. Take me instead, he wants to tell him. Don’t take the kid. Don’t—

Of course, he knows it doesn’t work that way. He doesn’t even know where he disappeared to, although he has an idea, but now there’s the annoying question of what now. What do they do now? They had lost. Thanos had wiped the floor with them, and now...

He mumbles a quiet thanks to Quill once he helps him sit, and Tony unzips his jacket for easier access to where the makeshift webbing bandage is holding his skin together as much as it can, but even through it he can see the red seeping through. There should be a more emotional reaction to watching the wound that should have killed him bleed rather than take him out, but all he feels is guilt. He shouldn’t have been saved. It shouldn’t be him. Peter should be the one here, alive. Not him. Never him.

By the time Quill comes back, Tony looks pale but still awake enough to show that at least he’s not at the verge of passing out. ]

Yeah, it’s fine. You have, uh. bandages or something? I don’t know how much longer this thing will hold, and I don’t think I have enough nanonites to try to make more.

@efficacy

[stark]

[ It takes almost a month and a half before Shuri and Dr. Cho feel comfortable enough with Tony’s progress to let him go home. The scarring along the right side of his body has been reduced to faint lines from where the force of the blast had carved his skin, the hearing in his right ear has been mostly saved, and ... well, his right arm hasn’t fallen off, so that’s something. There’s still some nerve damage that will require more treatments down the line, it’s questionable when or if he’ll ever be able to use his arm again, and he has given everyone enough scares during the early parts of his recovery that everyone thought he’d ultimately succumb to his injuries no matter how efficient Shuri’s and Helen’s tech could be, but here he is now. Alive. Breathing. Walking and moving on his own. It’s something and, for someone who had been sure he’d die amongst the rubble, it’s everything at the same time as well.

The first few days back home are quiet, but he spends as much time with his wife and daughter before he has to get some rest. It’ll take some time to be completely back to normal, Helen had reminded him before Strange opened the portal back to the lake house. They had essentially brought him back from the dead, from an injury that no one could have ever prepared for considering the force of the infinity stones; he needed to give himself time to heal as much as he could.

Unlike other times and other injuries, though, Tony is actually doing his best to be as compliant as possible. He hates being coddled or cooped up, that part hasn’t changed, but he’s trying. He knows he had scared the hell out of everyone. He knows that, with what he did, technically he shouldn’t even be alive. He had gotten a second chance, and the last thing he wants is to ruin that in any way.

After spending the morning with Morgan, Tony ends up taking a nap on the couch. Happy and Rhodey come some time around lunch, and end up taking the little girl out for cheeseburgers and ice cream. You should get some rest, too, Rhodey suggests to Pepper as he gives her a hug goodbye, we’ll watch after the munchkin for the rest of the day. Tony sleeps through the short visit, but some while after he wakes up. The house is quiet, but the sound of rain falling outside and the soft crackling of the fireplace soothes him before he can question where he is since sometimes he still wakes up disoriented.

He’s home. He’s finally home.

Just as he’s about to sit up, he hears Pepper’s footsteps and smiles softly when he sees her walk into the room. ]

Hey, Miss Potts.

[efficacy]

[ Pepper can't help but pause in the doorway, needing to take a moment to simply... bask in the sight of Tony lying there on the couch, safe and sound and beautifully alive. Looking at her with that same look she's seen many variations of during the near two decades they've known one another; though this particular version is by far Pepper's favorite.

How many second chances had they been given by now? They had gotten so lucky to have both survived the snap, for Tony to return on Earth-- then again for conceiving Morgan in this first place. To say nothing of all the near-misses and close calls from before any of that. And now, this. It's nothing short of miraculous. The welling of soul-deep love that brims up within her breast mingles with fierce protectiveness; nothing and no one would take this from them again. This was it, their own endgame, just them and their daughter.

Technically it was Mrs. Stark now, but the old bit is still very much alive between the two of them. Her smile softens a little more still, love and affection lighting up her blue eyes as she finally snaps out of her sentimental ruminations. ]

Hey yourself, Mister Stark.

[ In whisper-soft steps, she pads over to the couch and kneels on the floor beside him, one palm coming up to gently lay on his chest, covering his heart. The other delves into his hair, stroking slender fingers slowly through the salt-and-pepper strands she rather adores. ]

It seems we have the house to ourselves for the rest of the day. Happy and Jimmy are taking care of Morgan for a while.

[ She keeps her voice low, as if hesitant to disturb the calming mood created by the tapping of rain against the windowpanes and the soft hum emanating from the fireplace. ]

[competence]

You can't stay here.

[It's been three days. Three wholly blissful days in which she's called in sick and, frankly, they haven't left the bedroom much. Steve's managed to tell her the entire story in bits and pieces, and in the end, she's more surprised that it didn't take three days just for that. But in those moments when the heady rush dies down and the afterglow fades away, Peggy thinks about what he's said. About what he hasn't said. And in the end, it leads her to one simple conclusion: Steve Rogers is wasted on her.

There's nothing in the world she wants more than to be selfish and keep him all to herself. She wants to spend her life with him. But to look at him is to know that he was never meant for white picket fences and slow dances in the living room, as much as she wishes that she could wrap him in that comfortable cocoon forever.

She twines her fingers with his and thinks about her own work. About what he's explained of this time-travelling nonsense (she's still not sure she understands it all). She thinks about a world with more threats and fewer heroes, and she knows what has to be done.]

You have to go back, Steve.

[aequitatis]

[ Somewhere deep down, Steve has known that this conversation was coming. If not because she initiated it, it would have been because he would have. Because she’s right, or course. He can’t stay here. As much as Steve wants to, and as much as he believes he’s done, there’s always a nagging sensation he can’t quite get rid of. He’s able to ignore it when they’re both awake, the bliss of being with Peggy making it easy to believe that he can do this. He can just stay here and have the life that he once dreamt of.

But then in the stillness of the night, his thoughts haunt him. He thinks of Sam, and Bucky, and Wanda. He thinks of Clint. He thinks of all the loose ends still pending and, while he knows they’ll do fine without him, he’s not done. He knows he can’t stay here. He knows his time - their time together passed him by a long time ago.

He rests his forehead against hers for a moment, quiet. Just listening to her breathe, as if to remember all this because this bubble they’ve been living in the last few days will be bursting soon as reality starts to filter in. ]

I know. [ He says it quiet, like a confession. ] I thought this would be it. We’d be to be together, and we’d get our second shot.

I wrote a novel, sorry

[gotup]

[Steve stares at the gauntlet, charred and smoking on Tony's hand. The stones gleam brightly, incongruously, in the rest of the battlefield, like they generate their own light. He only needs one, he thinks. Just for a moment. He can't lose Tony now - the world doesn't deserve to lose Tony now.

The Time Stone slips free of its setting easily, and Steve closes his fingers around it. He doesn't know what to do, how to use it, though he can feel the power pulsing. Please, he thinks, and a green light suffuses his hand. Steve stares at Tony, willing the stone to fix things, opening himself as a conduit for the power.

There's no visual sign, no flash of lightning, but he feels the power scorching his veins as it courses through him. Tony's personal timeline rewinds just a matter of minutes, just enough to make him start breathing again. Rhodey notices first and yells for Strange to get the fuck over there; the sorcerer gives Steve a look, but Steve, like Tony, is frozen in the grip of the stone. He's barely breathing as he tells the stone to hold Tony in stasis, to keep him from dying.

They get Tony through the portal to Wakanda, get him stabilized, and Strange wraps his fingers around Steve's. Let go, he hears in his mind. He loosens his fingers and passes out as the Infinity Stone falls to the ground.

He spends the next few days in a bed next to Tony's. The stone burned through his energy, left him almost as gaunt as Tony was when he came back to Earth. Once he wakes up, he starts eating almost constantly, though it's through a straw at first, till he can feed himself again. It doesn't matter; he can barely take his eyes off Tony. (He can barely keep his eyes open, but he has to stay awake to eat.)

Meanwhile, Dr. Cho and Shuri work on Tony. There are points where he slips closer to death, points where Steve finds himself wishing he still had the stone. He constantly watches the monitors that surround Tony's bed, even after he's no longer bedridden. All his clothes hang loose on him, and he's reminded of his life before the serum. Tony would laugh if he could see him now.

Steve's beard grows back in as he keeps his vigil. To keep himself from worrying, he's learning Wakandan, and right now he's stumbling through a copy of Harry Potter that Shuri gave him. But he sees movement in the bed, and he drops the book, leaning forward to grab Tony's uninjured hand. (His own arm still aches, but the doctors insist it's psychosomatic.)]

Tony? [The name is barely a breath, half-afraid. His heart is in his throat as he stares down at Tony.]

no need to be sorry, it's beautiful <3

[stark]

[ As Tony slowly regains consciousness, flashes of memory come to him. It's nothing concrete, and the images are fleeting as if someone is fast forwarding through his brain, but suddenly he remembers the flashing of white light that had felt like it had torn right through him. He remembers the agony as the powers of the stones surged through his body, and--

Everything goes dark after that. The memory is enough to almost feel like it shakes him awake, though, as if it's a ripple strong enough that he feels the physical remnants of it, and he finally opens his eyes. At first, taking in everything around him feels like an overload as his brain struggles to catch up between the medication and how long he has been under, but when he feels Steve's hand slipping into his own his fingers close around it almost instinctively. And it helps, because it helps to ground him. It feels real, rather than questioning whether or not he's dreaming.

As he turns towards him, though, and his eyes finally focus enough to see him, he can't help but stare for a moment at first. Steve looks so different than the last time he had seen him, but there's no way he wouldn't recognize those eyes and the way they look at him. ]

Steve. [ It's quiet, almost breathless from the effort alone, but Tony hardly notices. He's too busy trying to process the fact that he's awake. That he's alive, and his eyes never leave Steve's. ]

...what happened?

you hurt me, i hurt you it's a vicious cycle.

[holdplease]

[ There's a time limit of sorts on the holographic recordings that Tony made for everyone. Some of the others have more, and others less. There are some for people who have been dead for years, like Yinsen. Others left for Natasha, who never got a chance to listen to hers.

Still more for those that were lost during the first battle to Thanos. Apologies he needed to make. Errors in judgement to try and make right. Who knows if it worked? He's not really here to see it, after all. Not all of them are just recordings, though.

Some of them are based off of the BARF technology, and more or less interactive. Which is why the first of many that were left for Steve turns on one day, beeping softly with a blinking blue light. After a few seconds, it turns on, projecting a hologram of Tony into the room. ]

I'd be upset about being ignored for so long, but given the circumstances this is probably a little bit of a shock. So, ---sorry, for what it's worth.

[aequitatis]

[ Steve hardly sleeps nowadays. Not that he ever actually had a healthy sleep schedule, but ever since the original snap, something always manages to keep him up. Initially it had been the guilt. The helplessness at being unable to fix or do anything to really, truly help others. He helped with the clean up as much as he could, and he tried to restore order wherever he could manage, but ultimately it was never enough. How could it, when so many people had just been wiped out?

Even after everyone is back, though, the sleeplessness continues. The serum makes it easy for him to go without sleep for long stretches of time before he has to at least nap for a few hours, but that's as far as he can get. There's guilt again that lingers, but it's for different reasons. He thinks of Natasha. He thinks of Tony. He thinks of their deaths, at how unfair it is that they're gone while everyone else is back. He knows they would do it again in a heartbeat - whatever it takes, they had all promised - but the unfairness of it all is sometimes too much to bear.

So, he busies himself. He helps in clearing up the debris at the compound, he works with Bucky, Sam, and Wanda as they try to help the world re-adjust. It helps him keep busy, and it helps in feeling like he's at least doing something so that the sacrifice that had been done hadn't been in vain.

Tonight he's in his room, though, failing yet again at attempting to sleep. Bucky had threatened to find a way to knock him out so that he could get some rest, so he had figured he'd give sleep a try even if he had already known that it wouldn't work. For a moment he thinks he's dreaming, though, when he hears the faint beeping and when he sits up to try to find the source, his heart feels like it stops when he sees the blue light.

No, he thinks. This isn't possible. He's dreaming. He's--

Here. Tony is in his room. A hologram version of him, but it's him and Steve breathes out a chuckle under his breath that seems to get caught in his throat. ]

...yeah. It's a little bit of a shock.

[ Understatement of the year. His throat feels unnaturally dry, but he tries to ignore it as he moves to sit at the foot of the bed. He knows this isn't real, but he looks so damn real that for a moment he's tempted to reach out for him. ]

You really prepared for everything, didn't you.

Superhusbands Part II

[noble_sentiments]

[ ooc: Part I — Reuniting

A lot happens during the week Tony is confined to bed rest.

That first day, after Tony tells Steve he loves him, Steve confirms the timeline with Bruce. Seven days minimum of bedrest, otherwise moving him could prolong Tony's recovery by weeks.

Day two, Tony is still sleeping through most of the day. When he wakes up, Steve usually isn't there, though FRIDAY quickly informs him that Captain Rogers is currently in a nearby room, working on something that she's been instructed not to explain.

Day three, Steve is back and he spends the whole day in Tony's hospital room. He has a tablet with him — one of the ones Tony gave him two years ago, with access to FRIDAY's knowledge base.

Day four, Steve is excited in the morning, because the paint in the other room has finally aired out, and he move Tony to it. Bruce is there too, to help, as they wheel Tony from one room to another, along with all the machines that come with him. Leaving the medical wing, they head toward a room that Tony had originally designed as an office, with beautiful floor to ceiling windows that look out across the trees and the lake. Steve has removed all the furniture in the room and painted the walls to match the forest outside.

Day five, Tony's well enough to start using his devices, even if eating is still hard. Steve also wheels another medical bed into the room, and declares that he's sleeping there now.

By day seven, Tony's finally able to walk short distances if he sits often and carries around his IV. That's when the rest of the Avengers and Captain Marvel assemble for the first time, and go through their options. The short of it is: there aren't many. ]

[stark]

[ Although Tony isn’t exactly pleased with having to stay on bedrest for a full week, he doesn’t fight the order as much as he generally would. It’s partly because of how weak his body still is, and how easy it is to get tired in the days that follow after landing back home, but it’s also because he knows this will be the fastest way for them to be able to leave. He just wants to leave. Rhodey and Pepper visit his room, everyone tries to keep him as distracted as possible, but Tony just feels too detached from it all. Sure, it’s partly because he’s still tired and sore as hell even after sleeping more than he ever would, but it’s also the grief that he feels crushing him from time to time. It comes in waves, sometimes taking him by surprise and leaving him wanting to sleep for hours on end just to avoid it all because the last thing he wants to do is be here. After all, it’s hard to be thankful to be alive, to have been saved twice when he should have died in space twice). He’s not the one that should have been spared, he keeps thinking. He shouldn’t be here.

Steve’s surprise helps to improve his mood, though. It’s completely unexpected to see the room change the way it has been, and at first Tony is rendered speechless. He had expected a new room, but not the paint job that Steve had done. It’s not only beautiful, but it helps to give the illusion that he’s not in the compound, or confined to a bed and a room that he doesn’t want to be in. When he thanks Steve for what he did, it’s sincere and he finds himself sleeping and even resting a bit easier after that.

Being able to use his devices also helps, but at the same time his level of detachment with it all shows when he hardly uses them even when he reaches that milestone. Especially when morbid curiosity gets the best of him, and he scans through the news to see just how bad things are out there. The chaos, the despair as the world also mourns all those that are gone. Pepper had already assured him that all his different foundations are doing something to help, but it doesn’t feel like enough.

He knows there isn’t ‘enough’ anymore, though. Not after what happened.

When he’s allowed to get out of bed, the first thing he does is lock himself in the bathroom so he can properly shower. It’s fast, and thankfully the bathroom has a bench in the shower so that it’s not so difficult, but he just needs it for his sanity. By the time he emerges, he still looks like a mess between his hair being almost unruly from how much it has grown since Thanos first arrived, and his beard is now getting lost in the stubble on his face, but whatever. He feels better just being able to wear clean clothes after a shower, and that’s enough.

By the time the team meets, Tony just listens silently as he ignores the bowl of broth in front of him. Suggestions are thrown around on what they can do, but Tony stays silent through the entire exchange. Especially when suddenly they start talking about leaving to go after Thanos, and he knows exactly what that means. His best friend and his husband will both have to go fight the man that had already taken his son away. What if he gets them, too? What if...

Rhodey notices the quiet panic that crosses his face - it’s something he has gotten good at in the last two years, whenever his anxiety attacks would threaten to take over - and helps him out to the courtyard as quietly as possible in the wheelchair that Tony had thoroughly refused just two hours ago. The fresh air helps to ground him before his heart starts to feel like it’s going to burst out of his chest, and when Steve comes out to check on him he has managed to breathe again.

“It’s fine,” he tells him before Steve can say anything. He knows he needs to go. He knows they have to try. If he could go, he would offer to go, but he also knows he’d be a liability right now instead of being able to actually help. And, well, it doesn’t help that just the idea of getting back on a ship makes his hands get clammy and shaky, so he knows he has to stay behind.

“Just make sure you come back,” he reminds him before Steve can get back up, trying to keep the emotion out of his voice as he says it, but it betrays him when he pulls him in for a kiss. It’s not goodbye, he tells himself. It can’t be. But, at the same time he can’t let him go without a kiss as if somehow that will guarantee he’ll come back.

After they leave, the wait is torture. Bruce tries to distract him, keep him company, but Tony locks himself in his room after a moment. Maybe waiting together would help, but he can’t do it. It’s as if he’s bracing himself for what can come, and the only way he can do it is by himself as he lays in Steve’s bed, wearing one of his hoodies, and staring out the window. He somehow manages to fall asleep at some point, and Bruce has FRIDAY let him in so that he can change his IV and keep ‘feeding him’ through the tubes he had been attached to, but he sleeps through it. It’s not until a nightmare hits him they he finally startles awake, just in time for the walls of the compound to shake as the ship is getting close to landing. Bruce shows up at his door just as he’s ready to try to hurry out, but he helps him onto the wheelchair instead to push him out. He’d argue it, but this is faster than how slow he’s moving and he has to drag the stupid IV pole.

When they make it outside, it’s just in time to see Rhodey walk off the ship, followed by Steve, and...okay maybe it’s a good thing he’s on the wheelchair because the relief would have probably knocked him down. Bruce gives his shoulder a squeeze, as if to remind him he can breathe again, but their relief is shortly lived when they can see the grim look on their faces. Thor is barely off the ship before he disappears again, Carol says something to Bruce as she walks up to them about how it didn’t work, and Tony just stays silent. What can he say? It’s done. It’s over. Thanos won.

Carol is saying something about an elixir that she has to give to Tony, promising it’ll help in giving his body a sort of boost so he won’t have to wait another seven days before walking more than a few steps at a time before getting winded, but Tony just nods blankly. His focus is on Steve as he walks over to him, and before he knows it he’s scrambling to stand so that he can rush over to him as fast as he can. It’s just a few steps, especially since Steve is also heading his way as fast as he can, and Tony throws his arms around him and buries his face in his neck.

He’s home, he reminds himself. He’s back. ]

For Peter @yeahspiderman

[stark]

It takes six weeks for Tony’s health to finally be deemed well enough for him to not be under strict medical supervision. It’s not ideal, but it’s not like he can actually argue it; Tony knows damn well how much radiation the gauntlet caused. He knows him surviving is a miracle in its own. There’s still nerve damage along the right side of his body, and it’s only a matter of time before they call it and have to make a choice on whether or not his arm is salvageable, but he’s breathing. He’s eating. He’s walking, and he can go home. That’s plenty for now.

Strange helps to transport him back to New York after his lengthy stay in Wakanda, but while he’s urged to go home and take it easy, the first thing he asks Happy is to take him to the city. There’s someone he needs to see, after all. He has been keeping in touch with Peter over text and email, checking in on him and making sure he’s okay as he settles back in to normal after being gone for five years, but he wants to see him in person.

Even now, even after everything, he still has moments where he’s afraid the kid being back isn’t real. That he’s dreaming all this and soon he’ll wake up.

Happy pulls over outside of Peter’s school, and Tony waits for a whole two seconds before he gets out of the car. He looks better than he had the last time he and Peter had seen each other; the redness that remained on the right side of his face has lessened to faint scars from the blast. His arm is in a sling, and he has lost some weight in this whole ordeal, but he’s healthy enough to be moving about and arguing with Happy about whether or not he should be waiting in the car or leaning against it.

Tony, of course, opts for leaning against it.

The bell rings, and Tony pulls out his phone so he can text Peter. He hadn’t told him he was springing out of Wakanda for this reason - he had wanted to surprise him.

Hey. You doing anything after school today?

[yeahspiderman]

It's weird being back. Most of his friends are still in his grade and Peter is pretty sure that means they got dusted, too, but some of them are gone. Graduated. A year or two into college. It's so weird to think about that, so sometimes Peter just tries not to. He clings to the fact that Ned is still his age. He clings to the fact that MJ is still his age.

And he clings to the fact that Mr. Stark is still okay and all he has to do when he wakes up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night from a nightmare of watching what he was pretty sure was Mr. Stark dying, is turn on his phone and scroll through his text messages. Mr. Stark is fine. He'll be home as soon as he can. Wakanda is great, stop worrying so much, kid.

The bell rings at the end of another school day and it's so weird trying to pretend like nothing's changed and everything is totally normal; that he's just a high school junior and doesn't everyone fight bad guys in space? He's forever being snapped out of his thoughts by the bell ringing to signify the end of a period and since this is the last one of the day, it's actually a huge relief to get to his locker and put away his books.

Peter's making plans with Ned for later when his phone goes off and he tells Ned to hold on a sec so that he can look.

Not really. Ned and I were going to rebuild the Lego Deathstar, but nothing set in stone. Why?

Peter slams his locker shut and pushes his phone into his back pocket, before heading toward and then out the front doors of the school with Ned at his side. He stops abruptly midway down the stairs when he catches the glimpse of Mr. Stark leaning against the car.

"I'll see you later," Ned's saying and Peter thinks Ned must've noticed a few seconds before Peter did.

"Yeah. Yeah, totally," he agrees, but he's already starting to move forward toward Mr. Stark. "Hey, I thought...I mean, when did they let you leave?"

Superhusbands Part III

[noble_sentiments]

[ ooc: Part I — Reuniting
Part II — Guilt

Part III — Recovery ]

"Breakfast is ready!"

Steve yells it from the kitchen like he's done many times now, knowing that his voice will travel through the halls and wooden walls of the cabin, to their bedroom. There's a sizzling platter of sausages and omelets sizzling in two cast iron skillets and the smell of breakfast is starting to seep into everything.

***

It's been a year since their son died. A year since they left the compound and the rest of the Avengers. A year since Tony found a cabin in the woods in the middle of nowhere and they moved here and never looked back.

Tony's recovered back to his normal weight months ago, but Steve — who decided after the first few months that he was going to actually learn to cook like his Ma did — is still cooking like Tony needs to gain a few more pounds. He does it out of love though, and by now, the food is getting to be pretty delicious, so when Tony usually finishes everything on his plate, Steve feels like if his husband is just humoring him, at least it's not torture to eat the food.

There have many, many hard moments though, especially in the first six months, when one of them says something that makes reminds them of Peter, and whatever cheerful mood they'd been in before deflates completely. Usually one or both of them cry, and they just end up holding each other until enough of the grief passes for them to be functional again.

They've never talked about adopting again. It's crossed Steve's mind, but he's never brought it up. He can't go through what they did with Peter. Not again.

***

"Sleepyhead," Steve says to himself, as he turns the heat down to the lowest possible setting, and wipes his hands on the kitchen towels. Then, two to three stairs at a time, he bounds up to the second floor, imagining to himself exactly where Tony is beneath the covers this morning. Or, he thinks, as he opens the door, Tony might already be up, but just engrossed in whatever project he's working on for them these days.

Either way, Steve is ready to scoop him up and carry him to breakfast this morning.

[stark]

It's amazing how fast and how slow a year can feel, all at the same time. There are days when he can't believe that it has already been a year, that they have survived this long. He and Steve have been doing a good job rebuilding their relationship, mending whatever hurt and sore spot their two year separation had left in its wake. Those are the good days, when he feels like they have made progress despite how different everything is now. During the bad days, though, especially in the beginning, Tony would find it hard to even get out of bed. On those days he just wanted sleep until he could face the day again. Sometimes his nightmares would leave him rattled enough that he'd wake up almost violently, but even on those days it was easier to just sleep. At least Peter was still there. At least there he could try to fix things, when trying to do so while awake felt like an impossible feat.

Things are getting easier now, though. It had taken months before he felt inspired to work again, until his thoughts and ideas no longer felt muddled, but about three months ago the garage had been converted into a mini workshop. In their little library he now has a hologram table where he sometimes works on designs or projects that he wants to work on. He hasn't done anything too crazy - most of the time he finds one reason or another to work on something else ('The toaster needed fixing,' or 'didn't you hear the microwave making a weird noise? I'll put it together soon'), but lately it's as if that's slowly changing, too. He's finally using his tablet more often than not, typing code or sketching a new design as he starts new projects. Maybe one of these days he'll actually finish one.

While Steve cooks breakfast, Tony takes his time getting out of bed. Not because it's a bad day, but for the first time in what feels like forever he had actually gone to bed later than Steve. He had been installing some updates to the hologram table, and one thing led to another before it was suddenly 2 AM and he needed to get to bed. It's weird, how once upon a time that would have been early for him, but well...after going to bed at a reasonable time for almost a year, and actually sleeping, now apparently 2 AM is late and it makes it harder to wake up.

Steve's breakfast makes it easier to rouse him out of bed, though, and after making the bed he had taken a quick shower before changing into a pair of jeans and a soft long sleeve shirt. As he fixes his hair, he can see some grays starting to peer through - something that once upon a time would have distressed him, but he has earned those damn things. At this point it's no longer a bad thing from a vanity perspective, it's almost like another scar - it's a sign that he has been surviving despite not feeling like he even should, so he just lets them be.

Hearing their bedroom door open, Tony walks out of the bathroom and smiles at Steve. "Good morning. Sorry, did you call? I was in the shower."