imaginatus | endgame open post

[ Tony breathes out another choked chuckle, almost in disbelief. For what it's worth, though, he doesn't pull his hand back from Steve's grasp as he finally turns to him. The tears have stopped but he still feels them burning in his eyes. ]

Yeah. Why, is that what you're going to do? That's how you'll convince me?

I guess ... [ Steve's eyes wander from their hands back up to Tony's eyes. ]... you'll just have to wait and find out.

[ After a second, he lets go of his right hand's grip on the metal bar, and moves to palm Tony's cheek in his hand, to wipe the streaks of tears off his face. But when his hand is just a few inches away, Steve hesitates. Tears are finally starting to form in his own eyes and his hand closes into itself instead, shaky, before it finds its way back to the side of the bed. ]

[ He’s still not quite sold, and it shows. He can’t let himself believe that it’s true, because it’s like reopening himself up for disappointment. After losing already doing it once, and now losing Peter... it’s almost self preservation more than anything else.

But he’s still not pushing or pulling away, and he doesn’t move away when Steve’s hand is by his face. He just stays quiet, as if waiting for the other shoe to drop. Because, in some ways, that’s the tension he’s feeling, like something’s going to shatter and all this will end.

After a moment: ]

I don’t know how long you’ve been back for, but your stuff is all still here. [ Again, he’s ashamed to admit it. Because it’s just more proof that he never moved on, that he couldn’t let go, but it’s not like he can go around hiding the proof now. Their room in the compound is still as Steve left it, for better or for worse. Tony never set foot back in there after that day where it all changed. ]

In case...you need anything.

[ Some of the emotion in his eyes turn to surprise when Tony says his stuff is all here. He'd been at the compound for long enough now that he knows it is, but he'd always assumed that it was because of Peter. Sometimes, on their calls, Pete would like to do it from Steve and Tony's old room together. But with the way Tony's talking ... Steve realizes there might have been another explanation.

After a second, Steve nods and breathes in as he tries to regain some composure. He shouldn't let his mind stray and overinterpret. ]

Would you rather that I stay somewhere else, for a while?

[ Because the other way to understand what Tony said — the more painful way — is that all his stuff is there in case he needs to take some of it. And that Tony isn't comfortable with him living here, just yet. ]

You can stay here. [ He pauses for a moment, swallowing the knot in his throat. ]

Peter wouldn’t have wanted you to go anywhere else. If you want to stay here, you can.

I don’t know how much longer I can stay here, though. Not because of you. I just don’t want to be here.

[ Peter should be here. Every corner of this place reminds him of him, and Tony’s already itching for enough scotch to drown in. Staying here won’t help. ]

It’s cowardly, probably, to run away because he’s gone. But I can’t—... I don’t want to be here without him.

[ At the end, Steve shakes his head. ]

It's not, Tony. [ It's not cowardly at all.

Then, after a brief pause, he asks: ] Where do you want to go?

[ It feels like it is. Steve saying that it isn’t makes him feel both relieved and guilty at the same time, but he can’t help it. Apparently losing his son has been enough to finally push Iron Man out of the game.

He contemplates the question for a moment before he just shrugs slightly. ]

Away from here. Away from the city.

[ He glances at the IVs and the other medical equipment in the room. It’s not a hospital and at least that helps in keeping him from getting antsy right away, but Tony has never liked this wing of the compound. Even if he knows he wouldn’t make it far, he’s already hating being in bed. ]

...how long do I have to stay in here?

[ Steve nods. He gets it. The only reason he's been able to sleep here is because he hadn't given up on the idea that both of them might be alive. Now that Peter's gone, everything's changed. ]

I don't know. But I can talk to Bruce. See what can be made portable.

[ Tony’s expecting a flat out no, a reminder that he has to take care of himself first and at least be able to sit up without being winded before he can think of leaving.

But that doesn’t come, and Tony can’t quite hide the surprise in his face. ]

Really?

[ Steve's eyes seem to soften when he sees how surprised Tony is, and in the next second, his muscles relax as Steve smiles and rolls his eyes teasingly. ]

You're my husband, Tony. I may have left, but I couldn't ever forget anything about you.

[ He knows how much Tony hates hospitals, even hospital rooms in his own damn compound. So Steve gives Tony's hand a reassuring squeeze, before setting it down carefully and taking a few steps away from the bed, and around the IV machine. He follows the line up to the drip and reads the small print indicating what's being sent into Tony's veins.

Then he follows the machine back down to the electronic monitor and checks the rate at which the liquid is flowing. ]

There's no reason this can't come with us. [ He concludes, before coming back to Tony's side. ] But I'm not sure your body can handle moving yet. You might have to give it at least a week before Bruce'll let me move you. [ A beat. ] Until then, if you really hate it here, I could take you to another room. One you've never seen before.

Edited 2019-05-14 02:18 (UTC)

[ Damn you, Tony can’t help but think. Because with this, and at least trying to help him feel better, it’s making more progress than any promises Steve could make about staying. It makes Tony visibly relax, even if Steve mentions that it could be a week before he can be moved. ]

You know, I was a lot worse than this before getting here...if that makes a difference.

[ He says it as if that’s a good reason as to why moving him now wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing. His lips even quirk slightly into a small smile as he says it. ]

...thank you. For not just saying no.

[ Seeing the way Tony's body relaxes makes Steve smile, even if he's trying on purpose to not smile too much.

As for Tony looking a lot worse before, he just shakes his head. He knows. He almost lost Tony up there. There's no way in hell he's ever Tony be in a situation like that again without him. ]

You're welcome. [ He says, finally. And then, there's a helpless softness to the way Steve says: ] I love you, Tony.

[ There's only a short beat after that though because Steve's goal isn't to force Tony to respond to that. He just ... had to say it. It's the reason why he's doing any of this, after all. ] Anyway. I'll check if Bruce is up yet. See if he can give us some more information about how you're doing.

[ Although Steve has already told him he still loves him, that that’s the reason why he wants to come back and stay for good this time, the full I love you disarms him once again. It shouldn’t take him by surprise this much, but it does. Maybe the malnourishment affected his brain, he’ll wonder later.

Before Steve can leave the room, though, Tony answers before he can realize what he’s actually saying. ]

I love you, too.

[ It’s quiet, his voice almost getting lost in the room, but Steve would be able to hear it. It’s the answer Steve had been waiting for, the one he had already answered without a straight answer anyway. He’s still not ready to just start up what they used to have like nothing happened, he’ll still need time to learn how to trust Steve again, but...he does love him. Despite himself and how much he tried to forget him, he still loves him.

With a nod, Tony settles back against the pillows again before turning to look out the window. The vastness of space isn’t threatening to eat him up alive anymore, his new view is very different than what it was for 23 days, and he finds himself drifting off to sleep again not even a minute later. It’s just for a second, he tells himself. He just needs to close his eyes for a second. ]

endgame open post

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