imaginatus | endgame open post

[ Tony leans his head against Steve’s shoulder, considering his question for a moment before answering. ]

I don’t know if I’d really know when to come back.

[ It’s not a good answer, but it’s an honest one. Right now Tony wants to leave and never look back. Especially since it’s not just the world that needs rebuilding - technically their relationship is still on the mend. He himself feels tired and just overly beaten by everything that has happened. It may be the cowards way out, to run away, but Tony feels as depleted as it gets. Add that to the fact that he’s crushed by their son’s death... ]

Just...I don’t think I’m the best person for that answer right now. I’d come back with you, but if you left it up to me, I don’t know if I can. At least not for a while.

[ Steve hugs Tony's entire body a little tighter for a moment. He knows they're both spent, especially Tony. But it isn't until now that he fully understands how much Tony needs to rest. Steve doesn't view this as running away. He views it as ... a man who worked endlessly to save the world for years, finally knowing that he needs a break.

He gets it. ]

What I meant was— [ He whispers into Tony's temple, with a trace of a smile on his lips. ] —let's just go. For more than a couple of days. For as long as we want.

[ He just keeps holding Tony for a while, kissing him once, gently, right above his ear. ]

And I'll let you know when I need to come back. But I wouldn't be surprised if it takes me months to feel that way. Maybe even longer.

[ Admitting that he wasn’t sure when or if he’d want to come back had made him nervous, even if he hadn’t been conscious of it, because he half wondered if Steve would judge him for it. After all, they’ve been in this life together for years. It’s been one of their common grounds for so long. And, considering Steve and his sense of duty... Part of him had wondered if Steve would see him differently. If he’d be disappointed in him for this. Two years ago he told himself that what Steve thought of him didn’t matter anymore, but apparently that had been another lie he told himself.

The judgment doesn’t come, though. Steve is understanding, he holds him and kisses him, and Tony can’t help but melt into his embrace as the tension he had been feeling disappears. It surprises him that Steve feels this way, but he’s thankful there’s no pushback. He’s tired of arguments. ]

Promise me that you’ll tell me when you need to come back, though? I don’t want you to feel like you can’t come back because of me.

[ He has never wanted him to do that, has never wanted Steve to stop being himself for him. ]

I will. I promise.

[ There's no way for Steve to know how things would have turned out otherwise, but there's a world out there in which while Steve had just lost members of his family, he wouldn't have just lost his son. Things in that world would probably be very different.

But right now, as much as Steve does want to stay and work himself to death, he knows he can't. With Peter gone and everything they've already tried to do, all Steve wants is to spend time with Tony, to grieve with him and make up what he can for the past two years. ]

I'll let Nat know how to contact me, if she needs to. [ Not us, me, so that way, no one will be able to send messages to Tony if he doesn't want them. And as Steve feels the way that Tony's body seems to really settle into his, he nestles his own face into Tony's hair. ]

Even when I am ready, though, Tony... [ His voice is gentle, quiet. ] I need you to know that I meant what I said before. Outside of any trips to space to avenge our son, I'm never leaving you again.

[ Tony notices the me, instead of us when Steve says he’ll let Natasha know how to reach out. He should offer to be a point of contact, too, but he’s not there yet. Maybe later, maybe in a week. Or a month. He isn’t sure, but right now he knows he can’t. It’s a heavy burden to bear, when the thing he had been fearing the most - what he had tried to prepare for six goddamn years has happened and left their lives in shambles.

When Steve reminds him of his promise that he’s never leaving him again, Tony doesn’t know what to say at first. For the first time since seeing each other again, Tony’s immediate reaction to that promise isn’t a flat out denial or disbelief. With how Steve has been acting, and how he has been, he finds himself actually believing that he’s telling the truth.

As if to silently say as much, he tilts his head slightly to kiss his cheek. ]

...I’m really glad you’re back.

[ Steve just hugs him tighter for a second after that, with a soft smile on his face. He's missed Tony and these quiet moments with him so much.

Sometime in the future, when he is ready, he knows there are ways to be back without separating himself from Tony. But those details don't interest Steve at the moment. He's just settled by the fact that he knows they exist. ]

I'm glad I was at the compound when you first got off that ship.

[ He gives him one more squeeze then before he looks down at Tony. ] I should get outta this uniform. But I won't be long, okay?

[ The way Steve hugs him makes a small smile tug at his lips, closing his eyes for a moment as he savors how it feels to be held like this again. ]

Yeah, me too.

[ He can admit that now, at least. It worked out for the best, too, because Tony doesn’t even know how he would have started that phone call if Steve wouldn’t have been there.

He turns to him when he feels Steve shift to look down at him, and he nods slightly. He had completely forgotten about the uniform for a moment. ]

Yeah, take your time. I’m not going anywhere.

[ He kisses his cheek before pulling back so that Steve can get up. ]

[ True to his word, Steve doesn't take long. He does need to leave Tony's room, since Steve's clothes and the shower is on another floor. But getting in and out of his uniform, and caring for it, is so routine that it goes quickly.

He showers too, just so he isn't covered in dried sweat and... space dust, or whatever it the residue is that seems to have coated him. But beneath the heat of the water and the white noise of the splatter against granite and glass, all of Steve's thoughts, for once, are completely with Tony.

In the end, only about fifteen minutes pass before he's back, because while he's been gone, he can think of nothing else, no one else. And coming back into the room, Steve meets Tony's eyes, and his own are filled with a nostalgic kind of yearning. There was something he wanted to do when he got off the ship today, and now that it's just the two of them, he closes the door behind him and walks toward Tony, whether he's still on Steve's bed or if he's moved himself to his own.

Then, as long as Tony doesn't give him any cues to back off, he only pauses twice. First, when he's right in front of him, before both his hands move up to cup Tony's face. And second, before he leans in to give Tony the kiss he wished he'd given him two years ago in that glass room with the Accords on the table. If that all goes to plan, then the rest, well, how Steve and the kiss feels is all details. Steve's hair is damp, and the feel of his lips and his hands is even warmer than normal, since he's absorbed more heat from his shower. He's wearing his old pajamas — worn out subtle Iron Man swag he bought at a store when they first got married and has slept in ever since. But with the kiss itself, Steve only has two things he's trying to say.

Tony, I've missed you. I love you. ]

[ While Steve is gone, Bruce brings by a portion of the elixir that Carol had been talking about and has him drink it before removing the IV line from his wrist. The plan is to drink a portion of it tonight, and the rest in the morning, to ensure his body has enough time to process it properly. It's not a cure all, but it's meant to give his body a boost so that it won't have to work so hard to recuperate.

By the time Steve comes back, though, Tony is alone again and lounging on Steve's bed as he stares out the window. It's not the blank, empty stare he has been having on most days during the last week; there's more focus in his eyes than before, and when he hears footsteps, he's faster to react. Especially since he knows those footsteps damn well.

The sight of Steve in his old pajamas surprises him, though. For some reason he hadn't expected to see those pants again but, before he can say anything about them, Steve is closing the distance between them and his hands are cupping his face. Tony doesn't flinch, or pull back; instead, he leans slightly against his touch, and when Steve kisses him back he returns the kiss in kind. All this feels so familiar to how it used to be once upon a time, that he can't help but feel a sense of warmth filling him up from the inside. Things aren't the same, of course - they're both different, their lives are now so different than how they were the last time they had seen each other on good terms two years ago, but for the first time Tony actually believes that this can work out. That maybe they actually have a chance.

I love you, too, Tony's kiss answers. I'm so glad you're here. ]

endgame open post

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steve has one more thing he wants to do post-shower, so don't end yet :D

no problem!

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